So a couple of years ago I signed up at my doctor’s office to be more connected online. This is usually really cool – I can send my doctor messages, get RX refilled, check on my appointments, etc.

However, there is one part that sucks, especially if your health kind of sucks like mine: 24 hour lab results!! That’s right! Within 24 hours of going to the lab to have blood drawn and a nice cup of pee, the results of said contributions are posted online for me to peruse in the comfort of my own home. Yup, my good cholesterol blows – it always has and always will!! Yup, my fasting glucose level is high, but this time it is higher than usual, which pisses me off because I skipped having a cookie the night before and it still sucked!! And my HGBA1C – fuggedaboutit!! Highest of the last 8 tests. Yeah, I can look back and chart out all of my tests for about the last 8 years!

So the areas that I sucked in last time are the ones I suck in now. So why the hell should I go to the doctor next week to have him tell me that, and the ovious – that I am overweight??? Damnit!

Someday I am going to read about my own impending doom on my doctor’s website, so when I go to see him he will say, “How you doing?” and I can say, “Well, according to the online lab results, this will be our last visit in this world.” And then he will say, “Yes, but isn’t technology wonderful?”